Thursday, September 20, 2012

My lost summer

This summer, I seriously thought I was going insane. At the rate my life was falling apart I thought I would end up quitting my job, quitting school, and spending my days in my house avoiding the world. For some reason my decent life was extremely distressing to me.

Turns out, I have a medical condition. A really dumb one. I have hypothyroidism. I call my disorder dumb not because I think its fake or in any way less legitimate than other diseases but rather because it made my whole life really stupid.

I can't even fully describe how bad I felt this summer. I would stare at a computer and cry, I would finish working out and cry, I would go to bed and cry. When I wasn't crying, I was mostly staring at things, or sleeping. I was always tired, always sad, always bored.

Sadly, none of this made me see a doctor - I thought I was depressed and that I'd get over it. I could rant for hours about how our societal views of depression are dangerous and unhealthy, but that's a whole different story. For this stupid problem of mine, what finally pushed me to go see a doctor was that I could no longer concentrate, and I was starting to forget things.

I was losing time. I would sit down to read an article on CNN or watch a TV show and suddenly I would notice that 3 hours had passed. Worse, I would think back on the time and realize I couldn't remember what I had read or seen. It was just gone. This was scary to me.

One blood test and a prescription later and I'm like an entirely different person. I thought I was young and healthy and yet this one thing wiped out most of my summer.

So, if my blog has seemed too quiet - that's why.